There was this book recommended to me recently. And yeah, it’s non-fiction and NOT about writing, but I think it’s something every writer who has a romance in the plot line should at least take a glance at. For now, I’ve summarized the things that will help make that romantic relationship in your book just THAT. MUCH. BETTER!
THE SECRET TO LOVE THAT LASTS. Really, it should say The Secret to Writing a Good Romantic Lead. So what’s the secret? Read the following 5 “ways to show / feel love” and incorporate them in your book.
WHY?
According to the theory, everyone has 5 love languages, and usually 2 are more dominate. So if you have your romantic lead use all five, then at least one of them will echo with your reader. If the reader loves getting gifts, and your romantic lead gives your protagonist a gift — BAM! — your reader LOVES that moment. If the reader likes physical touch, and your romantic lead holds your protagonist’s hand — BAM! — LOVE!
PLEASE NOTE: of course EVERYONE loves that first kiss! But you can develop your romantic relationship so much further than just the kiss.
Now there are so many more elements that have to go into the romantic relationship, and I’ll discuss those in my next few posts In the meantime, try this little tip and see how it goes!
Here are the 5 languages of love:
· Quality time: For a person who speaks this language, things like eye contact, deep and meaningful conversations and shared activities are needed to feel loved. Bonding time with their partner is what is most important to them.
· Receiving gifts: When you are with a partner who love little gifts and surprises, this is precisely what you will get. You will constantly be showered with new clothes, flowers or even chocolates. This is how they want to be loved, so this is exactly what they do for their partners. Giving the gift of self is also an important symbol of love to these people.
· Words of affection: This works by giving your partner constant compliments, sweet love notes and lots of encouragement. This is important because those who speak this language are sensitive people and don’t take criticism as well as others. They may illustrate their frustrations by using sharp words or even by harassing you.
· Physical touch: If this is the language of your partner they will be very affectionate or, as some like to call it, touchy-feely. If you deny someone who speaks this love language sex, they may feel unloved.
· Acts of service: Some people find pleasure in doing things for others. This may mean that they will feel loved when their partners help out with chores or doing things for them. However, acts of service should be done out of love, not obligation. (I want to include that for girls, this means when the guy stands up for her and/or defends her.)
So what is your character’s love language? What love language do you find most appealing the books you’ve read.
Chersti Nieveen 
I read that book! That one and “The Color Code” are great psychological helps for writers. Thanks for the reminder! I might just have to go back and re-read my copy.
This is great! I never thought about using love languages for the READER’S sake. I would have just asked myself about which apply to my characters. But I think you’re right. I’m going to be looking at my romantic scenes in a new way now. Thanks!
So if it isn’t a romantic novel then just spread it out really far or what? I mean I do want a little side romance.
Jonene: I haven’t read THE COLOR CODE, so I’ll have to go find it. Thanks for the suggestion!
Britney: If you are doing a romantic subplot, just add those little elements in. So the protagonist gets the main character a gift (which could also be important to the plot). I’ll be doing a follow-up post in March on romantic subplots, that that might help a bit 🙂